Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Call of Duty: Black Ops Hero Armed With New Weapon: The Hammer of Verbosity?

First things first ladies and gentlemen. That's right; the Call of Duty series has a single-player campaign mode, smart asses. And for the upcoming Black Ops installment, Treyarch and Activision are unmuting the long silenced protagonist. No longer will the voiceless Gordon Freeman syndrome seen in Half-Life plague the COD series, no longer will you stand in mute bending to the will of your squadmates tactical advancements, and no longer will the player be denied ego-laden quips following his/her avatar's headshots. Prepare for emotional engagement. Prepare for loquation. Prepare for "GET TO THE CHOOPER!". Prepare for Alex Mason. Now, you may be asking yourself, "Didn't Alex Mason recently liberate a mining planet in revenge for his dead brother with he help of a bunch of rebels?" You're absolutely right. Treyrach's character development department may have lost a few points for originatlity, but hey, who doesn't steal ideas from other companies in the video game industry? Treyarch reports indicate Mason's voice acting will be done by Avatar's Sam Worththington. Prepare for Mason, and rediculously designed shotguns like seen in the image.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

G4 Showcases Call of Duty: Black Ops "Jungle" Multiplayer Map Preview

If you haven't had enough Black Ops game play footage yet to fill your stomach, G4 recently fired off a pair of fast paced, pew-pew clips for the hungry Call of Duty fans to feast on. The one I've posted fits into the typical gameplay trailer mold; splicing of innumerable action-packed killcams - with the occasional knife in the gut - all featured on the handsome looking multiplayer map, "Jungle". Mark Lamia, Treyarch's Studio Head, offers a heaping plate of insightful commentary along with the video, being sure to leave no resource untapped in the department of overly dramatic and irrelevant flailing hand gestures. That's what we call developer's passion...or poor presentational skills? EDIT:  Video is back!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Call of Duty: Black Ops Single Player Trailer Officially Lands!

 
During a typical Monday Night Football game, not many things can stand in a determined viewers way of their epic dash to the beer-laden fridge during commercial breaks, but last night, the stakes were different. There was a single, world-shattering, minute-long video clip ensuring that hardened gamers worldwide stayed glued to their La-Z-Boy armchairs, and eyes to the TV. And yes, we remained intently fixed until that fateful fourth quarter! Despite the 45 minute rain delay, despite Favre's early horrendous performance, despite Pirates of the Caribbean showing on USA; we threw our earthly desires to the back seat, all in the name of Call of Duty. Once that first frame flashed across the screen, we knew the moment had come. The long awaited Call of Duty: Black Ops single player trailer had at long last arrived. I marveled at every second of it. In case you missed it, I've kindly posted it above for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Call of Duty DS Studio Still On Its Feet...Does Anyone Even Care?

If a DS game launches, but no one is around to give a hoot, does it really hit store shelves? OK...ok! I'll honorably admit, I may tend to be a smidgen biased toward the "Who Gives A Crap" stance within the realm of DS releases, but I just couldn't let that gem of a line fly under the radar. Appreciated or unwanted douche-baggery aside, the studio's CEO, Dan O'Leary, recently shot down rumors claiming the Call of Duty: Black Ops' hand held version now lies in the grave. Boasting, "n-Space is down, but definitely not out," O'Leary identified mass personnel layoffs were "unavoidable" on Friday, but optimistically stated that a negotiation process is underway in the effort to hire back the 70-90 employees given the sack. Given the absolute horse-shit nature of today's economy, it seems the "middle" class of gaming sits in dire straights, holding on for dear, dear life...*cough pull the plug cough* Again, excuse my slant. In other, exceedingly interesting news, tune into ESPN tomorrow night at 8:30 p.m. to catch the Black Ops deput trailer during the Monday Night Football game. We can only hope it features the "BONG" noise as the MW2 reveal did. Enjoy your excruciating hand cramps while you can DS fanatics.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Minnesota vs. New York Monday Night Game to Appear During Call of Duty: Black Ops Debut Trailer!!

I dearly hope my comic genius shone brightly as you read my post's title, otherwise I'd just come across as a complete and utter moron. Wait. On second thought, congratulations. You'll have advanced to the rank of Supreme Lt. Cdr. Idiot if my heroic joke flies right over your head. Merging back into relevancy, assuming the Monday Night Football enthusiasts can briefly withdraw their faces from their 12 metric tons of Helluva'Good Dip, fans will be graced by Activision's brand spankin' new trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops. This bit will feature selected footage from the single player campaign portion of the game. Woop-de-fucking-do, single player. Now bear with me on this, as witty as Activision is, there will be a 16 second long teaser trailer of Monday's full length debut during the Vikings vs. Jets game on Sunday. A trailer teasing you for a teaser trailer? Yes.

Friday, October 8, 2010

GameStop Announces Call of Duty: Black Ops Contest, Featuring a...Militarized Panadora's Box of Prizes?

Everyone and their mom's favorite software retailer, GameStop, recently announced they're offering a chance to win one of many prizes if you pre-order a copy of the upcoming Call of Duty installment: Black Ops. After many days of meticulous deliberation, pots of coffee and depleted Whiteboard markers, the brilliant minds of GameStop's marketing department dubbed the sweepstakes, wait...wait for it, "Surprize Attack!" Amasing! Ten points from GameStop for zubztituting the letterz Z and S in a laughable attempt at creativity. Pathetic humor aside, the levels of surPRIZES include:

-Jeep Wrangler Rubicon
-Polaris ATV
-Fighter Pilot Experience
-Harley-Davidson Motorcycle
-Microsoft Prize Packs
-Ghillie Suit
-Autographed Fighter Pilot's Helmet
-Flip HD Camera
-Call of Duty: Black Ops Downloadable Content
-Exclusive Call of Duty: Black Ops Branded Wearables

If you haven't opened an additional Browser tab yet, just think...you could be that miscreant tactically maneuvering about campus in a Ghillie Suit! On another note, GameStop also announced that "[they are] tracking to all-time, record reservations on Call of Duty: Black Ops. We are ahead of where we were with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 last year, which previously set the industry standard." Watch your back, Ramirez!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Eight Wrist-Worn OLED Displays Shipped to Military by Universal Display Corporation; PIP-Boy One Step Closer to Reality?

(Image courtesy of Engadget) Unfortunately too late for Noble Team, the corporation Universal Display officially announced they've dropped a care package containing eight of these wrist-mounted devices off to the US Army. Rugged, militarized and freshly sewn off the wrist of Megaton's savior - or menace - these 4.3" full color displays sport a Futurama-esque phosphorescent, amorphous-silicon OLED composed black-plane display, and are entirely flexible to boot. However, there is no specific purpose in mind for these bad-boy's at the moment, but they "offer various advanced communications features, all integrated into a thin and rugged housing that comfortably fits around a soldier’s wrist". I can see it now, "Commander...COMMANDER! Stop playing Pac-Man!!"

The Call of Duty: Black Ops Ad Onslaught Commences...Or Chick In Bikini?

Brace yourself pedestrians and gamers alike! The Black Ops advertising blitz is positioned and ready execute tactical publicity strikes across seven continents. Time's Square billboards have already faced Treyarch's promotional bombardment, but the Big Apple is only the beginning. The game's publisher claims Black Ops will be the "biggest investment" ever made in the launch of a video game title. It seems head honcho Bobby Kotick is in no form or fashion dicking around with the next release in the COD lineage. But...are the blazing guns even the spectacle that caught your eye? Could this be Activision's viral leak for next year's installment; Call of Duty: Black Bikini?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Auto-Aim, Coming Soon To A Military Near You!

Look out a sni-! That's right all of you fanatical FPS'rs, the infinitely annoying exploit that has been the bane of your KDR for many a year is soon coming to a REAL theater of war near you! That "h4xx0r" with the Scout on de_dust who's frantically hopping about the entrance to the overpass, no-scope head-shotting left and right will soon have good excuse for wiping out half of the Counter-Terrorists!

Just this past week, the U.S. Defense/Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) awarded Lockheed Martin a hefty $6.9 million contract to advance the development of the company's so-called "One-Shot Program." This research project traces its production roots back to 2007, aiming (pun intentional) to develop a seemingly ahead of our time sniper scope that will automatically paint targets. This scope will of course be a mini-super computer within itself, possessing the capability to calculate crosswinds, GPS location, target range, temperature and even humidity, all of which are instantly processed and displayed in real time on the sights.

A number of test units are expected soon. What could the implications of these RL Haxx be?! Will the next Geneva Convention be turned into a VAC or Punkbuster Conference? We'll have to wait and see where the shots fall I suppose, and lets certainly not hope they're rewarded with a Tactical Nuke every 25 kills.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Modern Warfare 2: Top 5 Nuke Freakout Reactions!


There are only two words that come to mind...wait, WAIT...scratch words! Pure, unadulterated reactionary cackling laughter should result after watching this masterpiece. I don't know about you, but I had to firmly brace myself to my chair in order to keep my uncontrollable giggles from having me take a spill onto the floor! By far one of the greatest bouts of amusements I've had in quite some time. "OH GAWD I DID IT!"

Call of Duty: Black Ops Goes 3D and Gets Bot Support!

The three-dimensional craze isn't going to stop any time soon as Activision announced that Call of Duty: Black Ops will be 3D compatible on every system (Xbox 360, PS3 and PC with the proper NVIDIA chipset) when it launches on November 9.  The option will be coming to the next marquee Call of Duty game "day one, out of the box," says Mark Lamia, studio head at Treyarch. Stereoscopic 3D visual effects will be available to players in all of Call of Duty: Black Ops modes—campaign, multiplayer, Combat Training, Zombies—as long as they own a 3D-ready HDTV or NVIDIA 3D Vision-ready PC, using active shutter glasses technology.  I'm aware there aren't many individuals who may posses this powerful piece of home 3D technology, but is this capability an incentive for you to purchase Treyarch's upcoming title!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Hello World!

It's official! The E-Journal you've been eagerly waiting for has at long last arrived! Complete with expert military commentary, general video game discussion, pathetic attempts at humor and all else life has to bring is finally...LIVE! Straight from the desk of a college athlete and avid all-that-is-nerd enthusiast, content will soon be headed your way! (: